wheres john
(plays thriftshop by macklemore in reverse to summon him)
my nose started randomly bleeding and i remembered i run a blog hi
gross, i didn’t offer for me to do it!
what about if i got an entire delivery truck to show up at your place and just dump as many doritos in your parking lot as they possibly can.
i actually was expressing disbelief that you didnt know my choice was netflix
perfect ill just bathe in those. incredible
(Source: knightlytempo)
oh shit!
i’ll mail you something to make up for it, if you want.maybe a new sweater so you can wash that one or something.
a lifetime supply of pizza from pizza hut.
free netflix membership, maybe?
take your pick.are you going to have to have someone personally haul your ass into a bath to wash off all that stink of yours? you probably smell like an old dog.
nah, it’s alright. i HAVE been gone for a while.
yes john of course you can bathe me how charismatically homosexual of you to offer
netflix wtf do you even know me
(Source: knightlytempo)
i should hang that same list in my apartment somewhere.
know a good way to get rid of your enemies? just make a sandwich out of twinks, peanut butter and furbies.
absolutely
by the way thanks man for forgetting my birthday
it was only the big 2-0 im basically still rolling in the sweet dough I raked in with the pleasantness of a newborn kitten
fuck me this sweater? softer than your missing girlfriends dick
ive been wearing it all year im too lazy to bathe or wash my clothes i probs have some kind of tumor growing down there and i dont even care
i missed you damn sorry cant help talking so much
(Source: knightlytempo)
if you come near me covered in peanut butter i’m suing you for everything you own.
no
that food is forbidden in our household from now on. got it on the list and everything
right beneath furby and twinks
its like some kind of demonic sandwich
(Source: knightlytempo)
hint a lot a lot of fucking peanut jam
WHERE THE FUCK WRRE YALL IMA BEAT YOUR ASS S’HARD EGBERT Do YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PEANUT BUTTER i HAD TO FUCKING EAT
JOHNIQUE
????????? cries ironically
